Toronto's Greatest Romantic Mystery
Plus our city's most scandalous affairs, the ongoing history of kissing, and more...
It was on this day 95 years ago that Toronto’s biggest romantic mystery was born. Who was the secret admirer who sent Meryl Dunsmore a valentine every year for sixty years, but never revealed their identity?
It all started in 1928, when Dunsmore was sixteen years old and a student at Central Commerce — the high school now known as Central Toronto Academy. It was that year on Valentine's Day that she got the first card. She didn't think much of it at first. It was clearly a prank; the playful message called her a snob. She figured it must be one of her brother's friends. "The odd one would ask me out sometimes," she later remembered, "and I'd always say, 'No, I've got my own friends.'"
But the next year, another valentine arrived. And another one the year after that. Still anonymous. Still mysterious. And that was just the beginning.
The cards kept coming year after year. And in time, they became much more romantic. Even when Dunsmore grew up and got married, the valentines didn't stop coming. She moved six times: from the Beaches to Midland Avenue to Kingston Road... and they kept coming. She got divorced and remarried... they kept coming. She became a grandmother... they kept coming. Her secret admirer only ever missed one year; a postcard from Paris later arrived to explain they’d been too sick to write.
The valentines were arriving from all over the world — somewhere new every year. Not just Paris, but Tokyo, Sweden, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Barbados, Morocco, Norway, Australia… Only one card ever came with a Canadian postmark. It was sent from the Yukon.
There were big red hearts and Cupids and pop-up cards and drawings of beautiful flowers. When a valentine arrived from Puerto Rico, it was written in Spanish. There was even a German-speaking cartoon hippo.
From Costa Rica in 1976: "I don’t know where I'll be on Valentine's Day, but I'll be thinking of you."
From Amsterdam in 1977: "My very dear Meryl, here's hoping that this year will bring us together."
From Australia in 1983: "Keeping my name under cover, it's true."
It went on like this decade after decade, but the identity of her secret admirer remained a secret. The cards were always signed with something cryptic like "Guess Who" or "Me Again" or "Your Valentine.” Sometimes just a single tantalizing question mark.
Even her husband was impressed. "If my secret admirer came to our door," Dunsmore explained, "Alex would say, 'Come on in and have a drink for all the lovely cards you've been sending.'" Alex agreed: "It never bothered me once. I've got the finest wife a man could ever have."
There had been more than forty valentines by the time the story was picked up by The Toronto Star. It became a staple of the paper's annual Valentine's Day coverage. Torontonians began looking forward to the updates, caught up in the mystery. "Don't ask me how he does it;" Dunsmore told them, "I have no way of knowing."
She had her theories, of course. Maybe it really was one of her brother's friends. Or a pilot travelling the world. It might even be a woman. And then there was the story of a heartbroken sailor...
She had met the seaman as a teenager. He went off to sail the Great Lakes, promising to write — only to have his messages intercepted by her disapproving mother. He even turned up at the door on Dunsmore's wedding day, but her mom turned him away.
Still, not even that theory made sense. Why wouldn’t her mother destroy the valentines, too? Why hide his identity when his feelings were clear? And why not reveal himself later in life, during the time when she was divorced and single?
For her part, Dunsmore was happy to live with the mystery. "I don’t really mind not knowing," she told The Star. "I'm just happy he keeps remembering me. I hope he doesn’t stop." And whoever it was never did.
Dunsmore died at the age of 76. By then, it was 1988. The mystery had lasted sixty years, through the Great Depression, the Second World War, the arrival of television and space travel and computers… And there was one last valentine to come.
Five minutes before Meryl Dunsmore's funeral began, a final gift arrived: a basket of yellow and green flowers with a card. It was one last message from the secret admirer who had wooed her over all those years:
"Rest in peace, my Valentine."
A quick reminder before we continue: The Toronto History Weekly takes a silly amount of work to put together, so I’ll only be able to convince my own loved ones that I should be spending this much time on it if enough of you are willing to switch to a paid subscription. With a few dollars a month, you’ll be supporting all my work in sharing the history of the city! You can make the switch by clicking here:
TORONTO’S MOST SCANDALOUS AFFAIRS
Of course, Toronto history is being made right in front of our eyes this week with news of the stunning sex scandal that has suddenly promised to bring an unlikely end to John Tory’s time as mayor. But this is far from the first time a scandalous affair has rocked our city. I shared some of the most salacious stories from The Toronto Book of Love on Newstalk 1010 yesterday.
THE ONGOING HISTORY OF KISSING IN TORONTO
That’s not the only place you’ll find stories from my book this week. Torontoverse is a new site that shares Toronto news and features through a nifty map interface. Today, they shared an excerpt from The Toronto Book of Love, tying some particularly memorable kisses from our city’s past to the places where they happened — from soldiers returning home from war, to a criminal kissing her accomplice farewell, to smooches that have challenged those in power and changed Toronto forever. As I wrote in the book, “Toronto is still being built today ... not just with cranes and bulldozers, but with every held hand, with every love letter, and with every kiss.”
And if any of that makes you want to get your hands on your own copy of The Toronto Book of Love, I should probably mention that it’s available from your favourite local bookstore, the big evil online one, or directly from my publisher right here.
QUICK LINKS
The best of everything else that’s new in Toronto’s past…
MAYORS WHO RESIGNED NEWS — Jamie Bradburn leapt into action after this week’s big scandal broke, penning a piece about the other Toronto mayors who’ve resigned. “While most of the city’s mayoral resignations weren’t motivated by scandals, the aftermath was often messy.” Read more.
DOCTORS WHO DESERVED A PLAQUE NEWS — If you’ve read The Toronto Book of the Dead, then you might the stories of Dr. Anderson Ruffin Abbott and Dr. Alexander Augusta. They were first two Black doctors to graduate from medical school in Canada, both going on to serve in the Union army during the American Civil War and even befriended Abraham Lincoln. Both doctors are getting Heritage Toronto plaques that have just been unveiled, and Vicky Mochama wrote about it for TVO. Read more.
STRIKE FOR LIFE AND LIBERTY NEWS — Also at TVO, Taylor C. Noakes tells the of John Anderson, who had escaped slavery in Missouri and murdered the bounty hunter who tried to send him back into it, sparking a landmark Canadian extradition trial. Read more.
SAVE THE TREES NEWS — There’s been even more drama over the future of the old trees of Osgoode Hall this week. Last week, I told you a court had granted the Law Society of Ontario’s request for a temporary injunction. But that temporary pause eventually expired, the court found in favour Metrolinx, and the trees began coming down again. Five have already been removed and four more heavily pruned. But now there’s a second temporary injunction. The Haudenosaunee Development Institute have brought forward their own case and the court has decided in needs more time to fully review it. So the last few trees continue to cling to life… at least for now. Read more.
Meanwhile in The Globe, Alex Bozikovic argues “The Ontario Line can find a better way for Osgoode Hall.” Read more.
SAVE THE TURRETS NEWS — Vic D. Caratun shows us what the Pizza Pizza on the corner of Bathurst & Bloor used to look like, a reminder of the many great old turrets our city has lost over the years:
SLEUTH NEWS — Lorna Poplak shared the (mostly) true story of Ontario’s first detective and how he began tracking down dastardly criminals in the late 1800s. Read more.
VJ NEWS — The history of MuchMusic is being explored by a new documentary called 299 Queen Street West. Sabrina Gamrot tells us a bit about it. Read more.
INTERSECTION TIME TRAVEL NEWS — Hogtown101 takes us on a little tour of Davenport & Dupont through the years:
Click for the full thread.
TORONTO HISTORY EVENTS
Various times throughout February — Mackenzie House
“In 2023, we celebrate the 200th anniversary of the birth of Mary Ann Shadd Cary, the first Black woman to publish a newspaper in North America! In 1854, Mary Ann published The Provincial Freeman from King Street in Toronto. Visit the Mackenzie House printshop to print a customized copy of Mary Ann's newspaper, and a bookmark featuring one of her most famous quotes! Printing workshops are free. Pre-registration is required.”
Free with registration!
A GLIMPSE OF BLACK LIFE IN VICTORIAN TORONTO
Until February 23 — 9am to 8pm on weekdays; 9am to 5pm on weekends — Etobicoke Civic Centre Art Gallery
“Despite the prejudices imposed upon Black individuals from 1800s, their communities made significant contributions to Toronto. This exhibition recognizes how Black residents enriched our city. Presented in partnership with the City of Toronto’s Museum Services.”
Free!
TORONTO ANNUAL VINTAGE POSTCARD SHOW
February 26 — 10am to 5pm — Japanese Cultural Centre
“Canada’s largest vintage postcard sale. As many as 1 million postcards! Hundreds of topics. Find your town, country, interest (from sports, to politics, tto flowers, animals, Disney and many more).”
$7; free for members of the Toronto Postcard Club.
CITY OF TORONTO ARCHIVES: RESOURCES FOR THE GENEALOGIST
February 27 — 7:30pm — Both online & at Lansing United Church — Toronto Branch of the Ontario Genealogical Society
“Do you have family tree roots in Toronto? You can discover a lot about a person by researching where they lived. Jessica Algie, from the City of Toronto Archives, will demonstrate, step-by-step, how to find your ancestors in municipal archival records. We’ll start with online resources including maps, city directories and photos, before diving into local tax assessment rolls, which can be treasure troves of information.
“Finally, archivist John Dirks, will give you a sneak peek at an exciting, newly processed collection, Fonds 602, First Unitarian Congregation of Toronto, now available for research at the City of Toronto Archives. This collection is of particular interest to genealogists as it includes vital statistics registers of marriages, child dedications and memorial services.”
Free, I believe!
TORONTO IN LITERATURE BOOK CLUB: THE BEATLE BANDIT
March 9 — 2pm — Online — Toronto Public Library
& March 16 — 7pm — Toronto Reference Library
“The Toronto in Literature Book Club meets monthly to discuss literature set in, or near, the city of Toronto. Join us for a discussion of The Beatle Bandit: A Serial Bank Robber's Deadly Heist, a cross-Country Manhunt, and the Insanity Plea that Shook the Nation by Nate Hendley. The sensational true story of how a bank robber killed a man in a wild shootout, sparking a national debate around gun control and the death penalty.”
Free!
BY THE LAKE BOOK CLUB: THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD
March 14 — 7pm — Online and at Assembly Hall in Etobicoke
“Join Adrienne Shadd for a conversation about her book. Meticulously researched and based on never-before-published information on the African-Canadian community of Toronto, this book recounts the journeys of brave travellers, and the network of clandestine routes and safe houses they traversed on the underground railroad seeking freedom in Toronto, and their captivating life after they arrive.”
$10–$28, I believe.
WRITING FAMILY HISTORY — SHAPING GENEALOGY INTO SHAREABLE STORIES
March 27 — 7:30pm — Both online & at Lansing United Church — Toronto Branch of the Ontario Genealogical Society
“Here’s the problem; your family, they don’t want your stuff. No one is stepping forward to say I’ll take your endless boxes of genealogy files. There’s a couple of reasons for that. First, it appears at least on the surface, they’re not interested in your family history. They’ve rolled their eyes every time you attempted to show them new-found document. ... But a book with a collection of family stories they can put on their coffee table or display on a bookshelf is much more likely to appeal to them. It’s also more likely to get read and shared. Lynn Palermo will take you on a storytelling journey demonstrating for you how to turn your research into entertaining and shareable stories. Leave this presentation armed with the first steps to starting a family history narrative and motivated to turn your boxes of documents into an expressive and lasting legacy for future generations.”
Free, I believe!